Last week was an interesting week. I listened to friends who were bitterly angry about political events, or who had lost relationships in recent times due to having differing views. I learned that a friend was essentially kicked out of his family for requesting facemasks be worn, especially around high-risk family members, since those unmasked had COVID. The anger on both sides was intense. I learned that my husband’s uncle passed away from COVID and that some dear friends from California were infected, some seriously. Another friend is getting ready for an upcoming surgery for breast cancer, while yet another is recuperating from her breast cancer surgery. It was not, in other words, a particularly sterling news week. In fact, it made me want to hide under my bed, to go inward, to escape all the pain that I saw all around me.
There was, however, another story from the week. A friend gave a video update on his battle with terminal acute myeloid leukemia. A few weeks ago, he had a major incident where his body shut down and it looked like he wasn’t going to survive. It was a complex story, but the upshot was this: he survived after a prolonged hospitalization and much care. He is still in pain and still struggling to perform basic tasks as his limbs aren’t fully cooperating, but despite these struggles, he wanted to give thanks for every last thing that he had experienced, including the worst moments. In his video he was upbeat, enthusiastic, and filled with joy. He focused on what he could do in ways large and small to get the most out of the rest of his life. He invited everyone to live the principle of carpe diem, to seize every single day and its opportunities, to watch out for one another, and to nurture relationships. As I watched his video I was amazed and inspired, and I found his attitude to be infectious. And it made me think. A lot.
Feeling depressed, experiencing grief, or having other negative emotions is not something we should try to completely avoid, for burying feelings isn’t healthy. We need to be able to process sorrow and hardship. However, perpetually focusing only on anger, hurt, problems, frustrations, bitterness, and grief will bring us down and affect not only ourselves, but those around us.
Our world is becoming more polarized, largely because we focus on the negative news instead of the positive. There is something about sensationalism and conspiracies and stirred-up anger that is addictive, and it is easy to get caught up in that. It doesn’t even have to be big things that cause the most angst.
My late husband once tried an experiment where he said something positive about the day, the weather, or his work to every person who shared the elevator with him (he rode that elevator multiple times a day). People, he discovered, were uncomfortable and as he described it, gave him many weird looks. After a few days of this he then went back to generically complaining when people asked about his day or the weather and found that people seemed more at ease and joined in with his general complaints. The lesson was clear: the default comfort position is a joint negativity and breaking out of the habit of negativity is tough. As hard and uncomfortable as it is, though, being a voice of optimism and hope in an increasingly difficult and negative world is a much-needed commodity. We need more lights if we are going to pierce any darkness of despair.
The Psalmist wrote that “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” I asked myself, If I’m supposed to be God’s hands in helping accomplish His work on this earth, then what can I do to be a source of joy for someone who has endured a time of weeping? How can I be a better strength for those who are struggling? How can I strengthen feeble knees and lift the hands that hang down? How can I be a calming voice amidst the raging tide of anger and bitterness? How can I help calm the raging tempests of hate? How can I find a way to be a light in this world?
I had a dear friend pass away a few years ago from cancer. She was a woman who spent much of her life lifting others up. Her final bout of cancer was brutally painful, and yet throughout her pain she continued to watch out for and bless the lives of those around her. For example, she anonymously gave large gifts of money to various struggling families when she received an inheritance. When she was released from the hospital for one day, she used her day to attend an event to support me. Just days before passing away, she called Elizabeth from her hospital bed, to wish her luck in her National History Day competition the next day. She called numerous people, again from her hospital bed, whom she had long watched over and cared for, to give them messages of hope and inspiration. She left this life with a legacy of love, light, and service that has had a far-reaching impact.
I have been blessed with many people in my life who look outside of themselves and their problems to bless others. I have seen how much joy they give and how much love they exude. They are gifts of light.
As I’ve done a self-analysis this week, I have found many ways that I can improve and hopefully better bless the lives of others, to be a light. Oh, I’ll never be able to do the really big things, but surely there are small and simple things I can do that would brighten days. It is easy to get bogged down in the crises that surround us – large and small, personal or not – but I do know that if we seek to lift up instead of tear down that we will endure the darkness and find both light and peace.
Look to God and Live... Joyfully! 