Look to God and Live… Joyfully!

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about someone I knew who had been diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. I am sad to report that he lost his struggle and passed away this past week. The comments from family and friends all mirrored my experience – that he was giving words of love and encouragement to those around him until literally the last day. What an example!

This week I have also been engaged in a project where I have been interviewing people about their various journeys. I wrote about musicians, medical syndrome society presidents, and cancer survivors. I have been struck by a common thread, that of life throwing curve balls and then making the absolute most of those unexpected situations. Or, in other words, receiving lemons and making that proverbial lemonade.

During my interviews I learned about job failures, episodes of chemical depression, medical crises, and birth defects. I saw how in each of these cases great things happened. The musicians gave their talents to help some of the most lonely and vulnerable in society.  The woman with a genetic anomaly spent years of her life giving back to others who worried about the same syndrome by giving them hope in very loving and individual ways as the president of her local society; the cancer survivor gave service in innumerable ways throughout her church and community.

This got me thinking. What do I really do when I’m given lemons? Do I go inward, or do I reach out and bless those around me?

A poem I have long loved, by Sam Walter Foss, entitled The House by the Side of the Road suggests that one of our highest aspirations should be to reach out to those around us, regardless of their station or situation.

There are hermit souls that live withdrawn
In the peace of their self-content;
There are souls, like stars, that dwell apart,
In a fellowless firmament;
There are pioneer souls that blaze their paths
Where highways never ran;
But let me live by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

Let me live in a house by the side of the road,
Where the race of men go by;
The men who are good and the men who are bad,
As good and as bad as I.
I would not sit in the scorner’s seat,
Or hurl the cynic’s ban;
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

I see from my house by the side of the road,
By the side of the highway of life,
The men who press with the ardor of hope,
The men who are faint with the strife.
But I turn not away from their smiles nor their tears-
Both parts of an infinite plan;
Let me live in my house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

I know there are brook-gladdened meadows ahead
And mountains of wearisome height;
That the road passes on through the long afternoon
And stretches away to the night.
But still I rejoice when the travelers rejoice,
And weep with the strangers that moan,
Nor live in my house by the side of the road
Like a man who dwells alone.

Let me live in my house by the side of the road
Where the race of men go by-
They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong,
Wise, foolish- so am I.
Then why should I sit in the scorner’s seat
Or hurl the cynic’s ban?
Let me live in my house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

Sam Walter Foss

When I’m struggling, I’m afraid that it is easiest for me to become the hermit, living alone and looking to my own wants and needs. That, however, has never once made me happy. I think of dealing with depression or grief or major rejection. Each of these situations has the ability to make me go completely inward and quit progressing towards positive goals. Optimism about my future often is easiest found when I am helping others.

There was a great story told in church today by a man who struggled from being abandoned by his father at a young age. It was a heartbreaking story; a story of destroyed trust and self-confidence that has lasted for decades. This man, however, was offered the opportunity to serve others by going to Mexico for a couple of weeks a year and helping to build houses for the needy. By giving of himself he began to find himself. He began to feel a burgeoning hope that all would be well in his life. As he built these houses he rebuilt his confidence and began to trust in the goodness of people. It was a life-altering experience.

As I sit in my house by the side of the road I believe that the best thing I can do is to learn from those traversing the path; to help them, support them, and show unconditional love. Giving service – figuratively providing water and nourishment when needed, letting them sit under my tree for shade, or listening to them as they wish to share their burdens – is an amazing way to make lemonade out of my personal basket of lemons. That is the route taken by my most beloved literature heroes and heroines and my favorite historical figures. It also the lifestyle of many of my favorite people.

Perhaps it’s now time to move my chair out by the side of the road so that I can reach out and truly be a friend to man. Or better yet, maybe I should open a lemonade stand!