I had a couple different ideas for this week’s post. I downloaded music for both Idea A and Idea B, but just couldn’t decide which to do. I even prayed about it, but didn’t get any clear answer that one was better than the other, so I was leaning towards Idea B. This morning I got up and pulled out the list of hymns I had chosen a few months ago for church today. Our closing hymn was “Be Thou Humble.” It was a sign. I couldn’t ignore it, hahaha, so welcome to Idea A.
I’ve always wondered what exactly constitutes humility. I had an experience this week that had me again examining this topic and trying to figure out how to have both humility and joy. I was engaged in a writing assignment and I was extremely pleased with my final product. I had my personal unpaid editor (thank you, Elizabeth) look it over for grammatical and other errors and I then submitted it to the appropriate place for further review. This review lasted for many hours. There were the inevitable factual corrections, but as the feedback continued into the evening it began to feel somewhat personal. Some of my writing style was being changed, my carefully crafted word choices were being altered, and I felt that I was losing control of the article. In the end I felt emotionally wiped out. I was frustrated. I then felt guilty for feeling frustrated and instead turned my frustration into disparaging my own writing skills and thinking that these subjective edits were proof that I wasn’t the writer I thought I was.
Growing up I was taught that humility meant more than just not being the person from Mac Davis’ “Oh, It’s Hard to be Humble.” In addition to avoiding vanity disguised as humility, it also meant not talking about my accomplishments, not accepting praise, not putting myself forward, and definitely not defending my position on issues. I came to believe that being a humble follower of Christ meant not openly acknowledging or sharing talents and not stating personal opinions.
This held me in good stead in some ways. When I was editor of the college magazine I found myself in a situation where I had heavily edited each and every one of my staff’s articles. These were fabulous articles, but they now sounded like I had written them. I was horrified. I undid my edits and instead just looked for ways to tighten up the text or fix grammatical problems. Several of the writers subsequently won awards for those articles and I felt pleased that those awards were based on their words and not mine.
In other ways, however, this self-understood definition of humility hasn’t been helpful. It has kept me from progressing in ways that I should have. I am a habitual apologizer who struggles to stand up for myself when I have an opinion or belief that may be uncomfortable. That attitude has proven to actually cause some harm. Ouch! This version of humility has also kept me from actively advertising my business or in honestly sharing my abilities while seeking other work. It also wasn’t a particularly useful trait on the campaign trail!
Psychotherapist Vaishali Patel says, “[H]umility is not at odds with recognizing your worth, because to recognize your worth is to know yourself, realize your worth, and to embrace it.”
I love seeing this principle at play in the lives of my friends. There’s the talented artist who shares her work on social media, including her thoughts about the work’s strengths and weaknesses. There’s the service guru who goes out of her comfort zone, such as learning ASL, in order to provide the required help, and is willing to share her successes and struggles with her friends. Then there’s the brilliant scientist who stands up for the marginalized and downtrodden, shares her experiences and opinions, but does so without disparaging others. All of these are examples of Christ-centered humility.
Churchofjesuschrist.org defines humility as, “an acknowledgment that our talents and abilities are gifts from God.” In other words, it doesn’t mean that we pretend or believe that we don’t have talents or abilities, but rather that we just acknowledge that they are from God. In fact, the Apostle Paul wrote to the Philippians that “I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me” (emphasis added). I don’t think we can find anywhere in scripture a truer follower of Christ than this great apostle, and yet he was always very open about his successes, failures, beliefs, opinions, personal strengths and weaknesses, etc.
But what does this mean practically?
I believe humility means turning to God to gain a better understanding of who we really are and to see ourselves through His eyes. There was a time, not long after Ben’s death, when I turned to the Lord for strength beyond my own in a way I never did before. As I worked through this difficult transition I discovered things I was able to do that I had never imagined I could do. I prayed and the Lord answered. When I have faltered it has been because I thought I knew better than God about what I could and couldn’t actually do. Trusting in Him has always led to peace and progress. Heather Crawford wrote, “True humility isn’t feeling worthless. What it does mean is that I place all my confidence in God and His abilities, instead of being limited by blind belief in my own abilities or disabilities.”
We are coming ever and ever closer to the Lord’s second coming. The days preceding that glorious event are going to require the talents and efforts of all of Christ’s disciples. That means that we need to know and acknowledge what our talents are and to be willing to utilize them in this great work; a work will bring tremendous joy. Living a truly humble life, a real and not artificially humble life, is what is required as we wend our way through these last days if we are to be an asset to God’s Kingdom.
There is an African American spiritual that Ben and I sang in the Southern California Mormon Choir back when we met. The song, entitled, “Live A Humble” is such a joyful admonition of what we need to achieve. The traditional words are below (but good luck find a recording with these exact lyrics!)
Live a-humble, humble
Humble, yourselves, the bells done ring
Glory and honor!
Praise King Jesus!
Glory and honor!
Praise the Lord!
Watch the sun, how steady he runs
Don’t let him catch you with your work undoneLive a-humble, humble
Humble, yourselves, the bells done ring
Glory and honor!
Praise King Jesus!
Glory and honor!
Praise the Lord!
Ever see such a man as God?
He gave up His Son for to come and die
Gave up His Son for to come and die
Just to save my soul from a burning fireLive a-humble, humble
Humble, yourselves, the bells done ring
Glory and honor!
Praise King Jesus!
Glory and honor!
Praise the Lord!
See God and you see God in the morning
He’ll come riding down the line of time
The fire’ll be falling
He’ll be calling, “Come to judgement, come”
Let’s go back to my opening story. True humility means that I can value other people’s opinions while still valuing my own. Humility means that I can accept both of the following premises: that God gave me a gift and that not everyone will agree with my style.
God gave us gifts for a reason and He has warned us that we are to actually use, and not hide away, those talents. If we live humbly, praise God, do His work, and believe that we each, individually, are the greatest part of His creation, then we will find the greatest joy as we continue along this path of life.
Look to God and Live... Joyfully! 