Look to God and Live… Joyfully!

This week I lost a friend, a very good friend, to pneumonia. She was 64 and it was completely unexpected. I admit to struggling throughout the week to make sense of it. In the past year I have lost friends and loved ones to COVID, cancer, and pneumonia and this latest one left me reeling.

As I have pondered Dori’s death this week I was reminded of a song that Ben absolutely loved when he first heard it. The song, Live Like You are Dying, performed by Tim McGraw, tells the story of a man getting the devastating news from his doctor that he had a terminal illness. He then goes on to talk (or sing) about all the things he scheduled to do in his remaining time. I will say that Ben absolutely lived liked he didn’t have long on this earth and he filled a bucketful of fulfilled wishes into his 46 years. Dori, likewise, did so much that mattered to her. She gave service to people everywhere she was and went the extra mile time and time again, especially in helping children at school and church.

What I have focused on as I’ve contemplated Dori’s life and death is the need to not waste my life with meaningless trivialities, but instead to fill my days with the things that matter. I wrote down what is most important to me, and that list was essentially one word: relationships. I then have tried to figure out how to make sure I nurture the relationships I have. That’s a bit harder.

In the past few years I have watched relationships fray and tatter as political tensions made tempers flare. I’ve watched friendships dissolve and families tear asunder. It has been so painful! I’ve watched people dig in their heels on things that ultimately don’t matter, believing the worst of their neighbors, and being suspicious of those around them. It’s amazing how when a friend is lost through death it helps place those petty disagreements back into their proper sphere and perspective.

I had a friend, Jean, who passed away several years ago in her 90s. Jean was amazing! Not only was she active physically up until her stroke and sudden death, but she took the effort – every single day – to reach out to people, to call them, uplift them, and help in practical ways. She was one of my heroines. She didn’t let age or health keep her down. Carmen, until she began suffering from dementia in her 80s, never stopped her charitable endeavors – both institutional charity and private acts of caring. Dorothy, who passed a few years ago in her late 80s, was one of the most productive and loving women I’ve known. She wrote books, sewed quilts, and helped with her struggling grandchildren up until her struggles with Alzheimer’s. I’ve spoken before about Lisa, who literally called people from her hospital bed two days before she passed away in order to spread her very Lisa-like kind of cheer. My list could go on and on and on…

I bring up these examples because that is who I want to be. I don’t want to survive, but I want to live. I want to build relationships, grow spiritually, expand mentally, attempt big things, and let the world sense my love. That is what it means to me to live like I am dying.

Another song that I have come to absolutely love in the past five years is by Rascal Flatts. Entitled, “When the Sand Runs Out,” it mirrors my feelings of what I wish to do and be in my remaining years, however long that might be (and hopefully we’re talking decades, not years). There is always time to move forward and be better, to improve and to grow. There is always time to mend broken fences and heal broken relationships. That is what I want to be doing when my sand runs out.

I spent the morning at an old friend’s grave
Flowers and Amazing Grace, he was a good man
He spent his whole life spinnin’ his wheels
Never knowin’ how the real thing feels
He never took a chance or took the time to dance
And I stood there thinking as I said goodbye
Today is the first day of the rest of my life

I’m gonna stop lookin’ back and start movin’ on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I want to leave something here

Go out on a ledge, without any net
That’s what I’m gonna be about
Yeah I want to be runnin’
When the sand runs out

‘Cause people do it everyday
Promise themselves they’re gonna change
I’ve been there, but I’m changin’ from the inside out

That was then and this is now
I’m a new man, yeah, I’m a brand new man
And when they carve my stone they’ll write these words
“Here lies a man who lived life for all that its worth”

I’m gonna stop lookin’ back and start movin’ on
Learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I want to leave something here

Go out on a ledge, without any net
That’s what I’m gonna be about
Yeah I want to be runnin’
When the sand runs out

And as the cold wind blows
Across the graveyard
I think I hear the voice
Of my old friend
Whisper in my ear

Go out on a ledge, without any net
That’s what I’m gonna be about
Yeah I want to be runnin’
When the sand runs outI want to be runnin’ when
The sand runs out
Ooo, yes I do