Sometimes what you want isn’t the best thing. I know, what a revelation, right? I bet you never heard that cliché before, hahaha! I’ve heard it and even espoused it, but don’t always agree. This time, however, I can honestly say that while I really wanted one thing, the Lord had a better plan in mind. Let me explain.
Elizabeth graduated from BYU a year ago. About a year earlier we began making plans for a big graduation trip to Europe. It would be four weeks of touring the continent and visiting all sorts of wonderful countries. We booked flights and hotel rooms. Then came the pandemic. Our trip was obviously cancelled. Because I’m a hopeless optimist we re-planned for this summer – only this time it was going to be six weeks and include even more on the all-time greatest European hits tour. The itinerary was carefully crafted and literally took hundreds of hours to put together. Every single moment represented a dream-come-true kind of vacationing. We were so excited that we began packing back in January!
Summer got closer and Elizabeth’s future plans took an interesting twist. The law school that she chose to attend starting this Fall begins just a few days after we were to return home from Europe. How we were going to get all of her earthly belongings to Cleveland, Ohio in the five days between the end of vacation and school beginning was anyone’s guess! I was stressed.
Meanwhile, the pandemic continued and Europe looked like it wouldn’t open to U.S. tourists. Dang it! Let’s be real, once law school begins there are no more six-weeks-free summer vacations! We looked at different options and doing a two-week trip across country to set up an apartment in Cleveland was far more money than the entire European trip was supposed to be. The stress continued.
Another interesting plot twist came as the wedding Elizabeth was maid of honor in was unexpectedly scheduled in Southern California on the day we would be traversing the Black Forest in Germany. Elizabeth felt horrible about missing out on the wedding and disappointing her dear friend. One more complication that we couldn’t figure out.
All of a sudden France – and France alone (initially) – opened up to Americans. Interesting. France was the first two weeks of the planned vacation. We thought about it and saw the reality of how just going to France for two weeks would give us about a month to get back to Cleveland. So we rescheduled the flight. The re-scheduled hotels were already largely paid for, and because of pandemic pricing, they had been extremely affordable (i.e. downright dirty cheap). Even the rental car we reserved for just the French part of the trip was about $1,000 less than if we had reserved now. The cheapest way to rebook the flight to France was by going via Southern California. This factor, along with the reality of a France-only itinerary, would allow us to arrive back in Southern California the day before the wedding. It was amazing. Every stressful element I was facing due to the timing of our well-planned vacation was alleviated and we truly would be able to do it all. All, that is, except for seeing all the wonders of Europe that we had planned.
Interestingly, even that last remaining disappointment seems to be cared for. It turns out that Case Western Law School has a program that allows the students focusing on international and human rights law to spend their final year in London to get a joint JD and international Master’s degree. International human rights law is the program that Elizabeth has her scholarship in. If she ultimately chooses the London third-year option (and why wouldn’t she?) we would be able to do they rest of the trip from a U.K. home base. Truly everything has worked out exactly as we needed it to.
Often in my life I have discovered that I have worked hard to plan out my life exactly as I think it should be. I’m rather famous for being meticulous with my lists and plans and schedules. Some of my belief in the efficacy of this kind of life mapping took a hit when Ben so suddenly passed away six years ago this week. But habits of a lifetime are hard to completely eradicate, no matter how traumatic events are, and so I still find myself attempting to figure my entire future out myself. Every time that my best laid plans (of mice and men) go awry they are exchanged for something that is even better. It’s almost as though the Lord understands exactly what I need.
Back when Ben was planning on law school he knew what he wanted, and even more importantly, he knew what he didn’t want. What he didn’t want was BYU Law. Anywhere but there, he thought, although he applied begrudgingly anyway. He was offered scholarships at top schools around the country, but when he prayed about it he felt strongly that he was to attend BYU. He was even promised by the Lord that every door that would be opened to him from the bigger more prestigious programs would be opened to him from BYU. He heeded that inspiration and never looked back. He loved the environment and the education at BYU’s J. Reuben Clark Law School. He forged lifelong friendships that he cherished. It was the perfect place for Ben to go to school and raise our daughter. And when he graduated? He got the same level job that he would have from a more exalted school – with less student debt. The Lord’s plan wasn’t Ben’s, but it was perfect.
I’m at an interesting point in my life. My personal life mapping has proven worthless time after time, and yet with Elizabeth headed to Cleveland and then onto the rest of her life most likely far away from Utah I have decades ahead of me to live. Do I trust the Lord to watch out for me and direct me, or am I going to insist on it being my way? If there’s one thing the plans for this summer have taught me it’s that I have no clue what I’m ultimately doing. The one thing I do know however is that the Lord has never failed me. There might be interesting twists and turns that seem difficult to accept, but ultimately every last thing has worked out far better than I could ever plan on my own.
Tonight Elizabeth and I are headed for France via Southern California. We will have 15 days of touring throughout the country before returning for a wedding. We then will have time to get my girl moved across the country. I never anticipated the summer turning out this way, but indeed God moves in mysterious way and provides the silver linings in life in most unexpected ways. Plan away, but then trust God to handle everything in HIS way. That path might be full of interesting (and sometimes frustrating) twists and turns, but ultimately it is absolutely perfect.
Look to God and Live... Joyfully! 