When I was a teenager I loved to be scared. The local radio station had their nightly Mystery Theatre that featured tales of murder and mayhem, airing in the latest hours of night, that thrilled me to the very quakingest marrow of my bones. I looked forward to being terrified every single night. Don’t get me wrong. I was not a devil-may-care overall brave person. I was terrified of heights, of baseballs that would hit me in my face and damage my glasses or braces (again), of being yelled at or hit, of being made fun of, of critters of all types, blood (for any reason), etc. Things that went bump in the night, however, were exciting.
Something changed when I became a young adult. Suddenly, seemingly overnight, I was terrified of the mayhem I had loved not long before. When I say terrified, I mean terrified! I remember going to see the play Dracula at my junior college. Let me clarify. This was a stage play with no special effects. It was at a junior college. It was not even that well done. As we walked from the show to my dorm afterwards I was jumping at every shadow that appeared on the sidewalk before me and panicking at every rustle of every bush beside me. This terror gave my date an idea that he suggested to my roommates when we got back to my room. I slept on the top bunk and while sleeping my arm slipped off the mattress and hung down the side of the bunkbed. My roomie, lying on the bed below, and following my date’s suggestion, grabbed my arm and tugged. I screamed. And screamed. And screamed. It awoke girls from several apartments on my row. It was humiliating. It took literal hours before I was calmed down.
A year or so later I was babysitting in a home where I mostly stayed in the family room at the back of the house while the children slept in their rooms down the hallway on the other side of the house. I usually arrived after they were in bed and only had to check on them periodically through the night. In order to get to their rooms, though, I had to traverse a completely dark living room (the light switch was on the other side of the room). One night I decided to recapture my halcyon days of loving shows of horror and mystery and so I turned on the movie Lizzie Borden. Within moments I was terrified and raced out of the room to check on the sleeping boys. As I ran into the living room I discovered that the front door to the house was wide open. I very hesitatingly worked my way across the very dark room and closed and locked the door. I then, with shaking legs, went down the hall and checked on the boys. When I came back through the living room, though, the door was open again. I was freaked out. In absolute terror I again crossed the room to close and lock the door and then went into the family room, turned off the TV, and cowered. After a bit I decided to check on the kids again (afraid that someone was trying to harm them given what was happening with the door) and discovered the door swinging wide open again! This happened several more times and I was a complete wreck by the time 5 a.m. came and the parents returned home. I later learned that some neighbor kids, whose parents had keys to the house in case of emergency, had been having a great time playing a practical joke. Let’s just say that at the time I was not amused.
Fear is an interesting emotion. It is frequently based on things we believe we know, the evidence of which is not usually seen.
For example, I had not seen anyone actually enter the house or had reason to really suspect that we were in danger. Nonetheless I was afraid given the limited information I had (the open door and the dramatized murder of Lizzie Borden’s parents). In the case of Dracula, let’s get real. I had no reason to believe in vampires, I had never seen a vampire, and I had no reason to suspect that vampires were exploring the environs of Rexburg, Idaho in the year 1982. That knowledge didn’t keep me from panicking, however. I mentioned above that I hated being yelled at and being hit. I later extrapolated that to assume that anyone who was angry at me for any reason was going to (a) hate me and (b) harm me. I had no reason to suspect this, but I did. My love of intense mysteries made me terrified of the world around me, even though I’d never had a single real scary in-life experience. I never fell off a cliff, but I was terrified of heights. You see what I mean about things we believe but don’t actually see causing fear.
I recently talked to a woman – a friend – who expressed fear of those of a different race. She suggested that she didn’t trust them not to harm her. I asked her for more details, hoping she’d at least give me examples from her own life to justify her fear. She had none. Her examples all came from fearmongering in the media, but she said that she “absolutely would cross the street” if she saw some young men of that race on her side of the street. She was convinced that these hypothetical young men would definitely plan on harming her. Another friend not too long ago expressed her concern and fears about the LGBTQ “agenda.” I tried to find out what exactly she feared, but she couldn’t explain it. She just knew that it was dangerous and would destroy her family if it wasn’t stopped. Several people I know are terrified that the nation is being destroyed by people on the other side of their political spectrum (I hear this from both sides, by the way). They cannot give concrete reasons, but frequently get angry when pressed for answers. Someone else recently went on a rant about how “non-Christians,” especially atheists, were going to be the destruction of the nation.
One of the wonderful things I learned from Ben was to not fear. Ben and I worked together in Downtown Los Angeles for a couple years. Ben knew every homeless person within several blocks of the office. He knew their names, their stories, their struggles. He wasn’t afraid of them and he taught me not to fear them either. They loved him in return. He told me that there was no topic that I needed to be afraid of, for truth would always win out. In addition, I have many friends in the LGBTQ community and I have discovered that there is no “gay agenda” beyond that of being accepted for who they are. There are those, both gay and straight, that wish to undermine some of the barriers and guardrails of morally acceptable behavior, but you know what? Those people also aren’t frightening. They will try their hardest to win, and those who believe in upholding the guardrails will try equally hard to keep them in place. Should they fall, then how blessed we are to have the right to teach and train our children to eschew and avoid certain pitfalls. There is nothing to be afraid of.
It reminds me, actually, of when I was getting ready to start Seventh Grade. I had heard that there were drugs on the junior high campus, and I was scared. When I shared my fears with my aunt she laughed at me and had me practice saying, “no, thank you” as she pretended she was trying to get me to try drugs. I was absolutely not worried a bit about the potential drug problem on my campus by the time I started school that Fall. I discovered that I had power to overcome my fear.
In one of Christ’s final teachings before His crucifixion He said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. Not as the world giveth give I unto you.” The Apostle Paul wrote, in his letter to Timothy, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” And Christ Himself taught that the second greatest commandment was to love our neighbor. He said nothing about loving only if we didn’t have reason to fear them.Peace is always more powerful than fear, just as light is more powerful than darkness.
Let me give a qualification. There are situations in our lives that sometimes call for drastic measures to protect ourselves – physically, emotionally, spiritually, or mentally. We need to take those necessary healing and protective measures, but we can do so without fearing. If something is indeed harmful, and has proven harmful, then we have the right to avoid it in the future.
But back to fear. FDR said, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” I used to think that was a trite cliché, but I no longer believe that. From what I see, the results of fear tend to be pretty bad and make bad situations much worse.
When the tragic events of 9/11 occurred, Elizabeth was in kindergarten. She had a classmate who was a Sikh, and several students at her school were Muslim. The next few years were difficult for these families as they were harassed and bullied by people in their communities, merely for being different. Those who sought to harm them were beset by fear. Talk radio and news programs fed this fear. These families did nothing to warrant people being afraid of them, but at the time fear was sweeping through the country – making the hearts of men wax cold in their dealings with those of different religious traditions.
One of the most wonderful outcomes of 9/11 was the unity so many people found within their communities. One of the saddest outcomes, however, was the lack of love and unity towards too many of our neighbors.
I have discovered that when I am afraid I don’t think rationally. I knew, for example, that Disneyland’s Splash Mountain wasn’t actually a death trap, but that knowledge didn’t keep me from trembling as I stood in line for the ride. I remember my little seven or eight-year-old daughter laughing very loudly at Disneyland and telling everyone just how afraid I was of a ride that she loved.
Children know not to be afraid of everything and everyone. It is a beautiful trait of childhood. As we get older, however, we find ourselves terrified of boogeymen we can’t even actually fully identify. How tragic. How much richer our lives would be if we’d quit fearing one another and instead trust that God has all things in His hands. “He’s got the whole world in His hands,” the song says, and that includes, “you and me brother; you and me sister.” God does not wish us to spend our lives afraid of those whose lives don’t mirror our own, be it in race, religion, politics, economic status, or anything else. All things work for the good of those who love the Lord, and loving the Lord includes casting aside fear.
I look around me at the bickering and anger that is prevalent in our world and I actually see a prevalence of fear. We have no need to fear each other. God is at the helm and He cares for the smallest sparrow and the shortest-lasting lilies in the field. If He cares for them then He cares for us. He is not afraid of what is happening in the world, but I do believe He is saddened when we allow fear to keep us from lifting one another up. God has offered us His peace. It is up to us to decide if we choose to take it.
On this the 20th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks I pray with all my heart that the lesson we take and expand on as we reflect and remember is the love and unity we felt in the wake of the tragedy and move away from the fear that permitted hatred to permeate our interactions with those who are different from ourselves. I pray that we can quit fearing our fellowman but remember that the greatest gift from God is the gift of love and peace. Casting out fear is one of the best paths to peace we can find.
Look to God and Live... Joyfully! 