This week I was driving down the road with my Christmas playlist serving as background music to my thoughts. I wasn’t really paying that much attention to the music when all of a sudden something just seemed off. I listened closely and sure enough, it seemed that Penatonix was messing up the order of The Twelve Days of Christmas. I didn’t trust my own brain, however, and as soon as I got home I sent the song to Elizabeth for her to tell me if I was right or not. A few minutes later she asked me, “How could you do this to me?!?” Sure enough, the order was all messed up from Days 9 – 12. It was jarring. It was annoying. It made the version completely unlistentoable for me.
Since then I have thought a lot about how important it is to do things in the right order. Not long ago I was fixing some pudding and realized after I put the pudding in the bowls that I’d forgotten to add vanilla. I quickly put it back in the bowls and added the vanilla, but it was too late; the texture and taste were just a bit odd. Obviously when cooking or baking it is imperative to add the ingredients in the right order if we want the dish to turn out decently.
This applies to many other areas of life, as well. A few years ago I responded with angry online commentary about a situation before I knew the details. It was humiliating when I realized that I was wrong in my initial assessment and had excoriated someone with no facts to back up my opinion. Getting facts before shooting off my mouth is definitely putting things in the right order.
When I write a song I’ve discovered that I can’t write the accompaniment before I write the melody. When I vacuum the house I must remove the things sitting on the floor before vacuuming that spot. I’d look a bit ridiculous if I put my makeup on before my face creams. You get my drift.
One morning this week I woke up to a very angry email in my inbox. I was ripped up one side and down the other, and I couldn’t figure out why. It made no sense. I knew that I was completely innocent of the charge against me. So I did what any self-respecting person would do in that situation – I wrote a beautifully scathing response. It was a work of art. I couldn’t bring myself to hit “send,” however, so I just walked away for a bit. As I continued seething I had the impression that I was to not send the email I’d written, but instead to get more information about the supposed offense. So I sent an email asking for clarification on what it was that had so offended. I later sent a follow-up request. I never heard back, but I felt satisfied that I had responded in the right order by seeking further information.
This weekend families will be gathering around holiday tables. Those get togethers can be so fun, or they can be so painful. May I suggest a few ways to help ensure a more pleasant event by putting things in their proper order?
First and foremost, it’s important to remember that people are more important than attitudes, opinions, or external things. When Christ was on the earth He didn’t spend time torpedoing relationships by insisting on the rightness of His political views. He had a publican for an apostle, for goodness sakes! Throughout His ministry Christ put people first: the children, the woman anointing His feet, His mother at the wedding in Cana, the hungry multitude, the sinners, the beggars, the ill, the disabled, and even the recently deceased. He eschewed contention for all but the pharisees who polluted His gospel – but it was His gospel, and He was therefore the one to judge what was or was not righteous within it. We, however, are not the founder of the gospel, and it is not in our name. It definitely is not within our purview to be the arbiters of who is living righteously and who is not. It also is not in keeping with the holiday to stoke contention by insisting on the rightness of our political views or social outlook. All are allowed at the table of Christ, and all should be welcomed at our tables. I actually have a rule at my holiday dinner table that politics are off-limits (unless we discover that people are on essentially the same political page). That has helped engender peace and contentment at our dinners.
Another suggestion for making a happier holiday get together is to build relationships with people away from the holiday. If we only talk to one another once a year then there is no reason for people to trust that we genuinely love and care for them. Learning about people – discovering their interests and desires – is the perfect way to let people know that you are truly in their corner. I actually feel uncomfortable receiving gifts from people that I don’t feel care about me or who have otherwise dismissed me throughout the year. I actually roll my eyes and sigh when a package comes and I’m expected to be grateful to someone who apparently has sent a “duty gift.” Not fun.
The proper order of Christmas is to love people, spend time (physically or long-distance via technology) with them, get to know them, then, when appropriate, share gifts. The greatest gift we can give people is love and interest.
We live in a time of increasing isolation and loneliness. The pandemic has worsened this. People don’t want more things – they want validation of their acceptability. At Christmastime, more than ever, putting things in their proper order requires us to put people before gifts; to put relationships before individual opinions; to put love before self-righteous or stubborn pride.
One of my favorite Christmas songs is entitled The Secret of Christmas and includes the following lines:
That little gift you give on Christmas Day
Will not bring back the friend you’ve turned away.
So may I suggest the secret of Christmas
Is not the things you do at Christmastime,
But the Christmas things you do
All year through.
Putting people, relationships, and love at the forefront of all we do will keep Christ in Christmas. Caring about others more than ourselves will allow us to give a valuable gift to the Child in the manger and spread the true spirit of Christmas. Gloria, in excelsis Deo!
Look to God and Live... Joyfully! 