The other day Toby was acting strange (not that that’s exactly new, but this was a different kind of strange). Anyway, he kept coming over to me, whimpering, and then he started getting in trouble in a different kind of way. Then Sunny started in. She whimpered and paced and licked me and paced and whimpered, and… You get the idea. I was frustrated. I needed to get things done and they weren’t letting me! Then I had an idea and I checked their water bowls. Mind you, I’d filled them the day before, but both dogs are more than capable of drinking gallons of water a day. As I checked the water bowls I discovered that both were bone dry. Saharan Desert level dry. DRY. Whoops! I filled the bowls and life returned to its normal level of insanity with the dogs.
I’ve thought about how Toby and Sunny would have gotten their own water if they’d been able. They would have communicated with words about their need – had they been able. There is much that could have been done, but wasn’t, because they didn’t have the ability and skills necessary.
We all need to rely on others for things. Maybe we don’t want to – maybe we want to be completely self-sufficient and self-contained. The truth is, however, that we can’t. We all need help from others at various times.
Case in point. Ever since Ben’s death I feel like I have asked for tons of help. I hate it. I feel like I’m leeching off of people more and more frequently, especially with my constant inflammation and arthritis that prevents me from doing a lot of things. So when my puppy ruined my bedroom carpet with a refusal to be house trained and his love of digging holes in my carpet, I knew I needed to do something. I ordered dog-destruction-resistant laminate flooring and prepared to install it myself. I absolutely did not want to ask for help, except cutting the tiles to fit around the floor vents. I watched YouTube videos and figured I could do it. It didn’t look that difficult! Elizabeth thought I was nuts. I couldn’t afford professional installers, however, so what was I to do?
I shared my plans for the floor installation with a friend at church. Let’s just say that she wasn’t as sanguine with my idea as I was. Next thing I knew I was told that a group of men from church would “love” to help. By help, I mean do it all. I removed the furniture I could, but on Friday morning a group showed up to remove the large pieces (plus my door), take up the carpet, and prep the room. On Saturday another group showed up to install the flooring. They had equipment I didn’t have. They had tools I would have needed but didn’t have. They had muscles I definitely don’t have. They had experience that YouTube could never give me. I watched them work and realized just how ridiculous my plan to do it on my own was.
I did what I could: I purchased the flooring and “quarter round” (I have no clue really what that is, but I did take out a handful of customers at Home Depot by wandering around with my eight-foot long sticks), I emptied my drawers and cabinets, I cleaned, and I moved out all the furniture I could by myself. Then, when it came to the work I couldn’t do on my own, I had help.
Do I wish that I could have done it all by myself? You bet! On the other hand, I am so eternally grateful for those who do have the necessary skills to help – and did. I’m barely moving with all the effort I put forth, so I can only imagine that I’d be in semi-paralysis if I’d attempted the rest of it!
I’m also grateful for the fact that not a single man who helped me out leveled criticisms that I’d allowed the dog to ruin my flooring in the first place, that I hadn’t saved up enough for flooring installation, or that I didn’t have a family network to help me get this done. Instead of annoyance and scorn I was treated with love and kindness and lots of laughter.
Isn’t that how Christ’s atonement works? We do the best we can, knowing that we can never get ourselves over the eternal finishing line, and Christ does the hard work of saving us. How glorious! While we will undergo “judgment,” Christ doesn’t judge us negatively for trying our best but falling far short. Our efforts might hurt, but the suffering we’d endure if we were stuck with our own labor alone is unfathomable. What an incredible gift.
We all need help. We need friends to bail us out and we need the Savior to save us. Everyone is in the exact same boat that way. Why, then, would we be critical of those who are more open about that need?
I know that asking for help isn’t fun, but how awesome when people are willing to help.
If I’m dependent on others for things, and I’m definitely dependent on Christ for salvation and help, then I have to ask myself how willing I am to be the help for others. How quick am I to answer the call when someone is in need? How willing am I to not judge the reason people need help? I’ve written before about how interdependent we are on each other. I think that often it’s easier to look outward and see where we are needed and proudly assume that we ourselves don’t need help. That is a completely false mindset.
I remember many years ago we had an across-the-street neighbor named Pepe. Pepe was the watch guard of the neighborhood, and we all benefited from the fact that he sat in his front yard every day, tenderly caring for all of us. He let us know if our garage doors were left open or if something odd was going on. He definitely prevented a lot of crime. But Pepe was also a handyman. When Ben was trying valiantly to install a gate into our backyard, Pepe came over and offered assistance. He didn’t do the job for Ben, but he gave guidance and help. Ben was always proud of that gate, and we’ve always been grateful for the ways big and small that Pepe served us. Ben could have refused the help, but instead appreciated the support. What is our response when being offered – or unsolicitedly receive – aid? Is our pride dented or are we truly thankful?
I’ll just end this post by commenting that God created our situations here in life so that we would need each other. We become more like Christ as we fill those needs that people can’t fill themselves, or allow others to serve us when we need the aid – thus reminding us of our dependence on Him. What a great thing it is. Maybe we shouldn’t actually be embarrassed by getting help. Maybe we should just be grateful for those willing to help, instead.
Look to God and Live... Joyfully! 