When I was a child I loved to read the book Pollyanna by Eleanor Porter. In a nutshell, for those who don’t know the story, it is about a young orphan girl who always plays the “glad game” where she looks for something in literally any situation to be happy about. Her attitude and persistence change the town for the better. Okay, that is a bit of an oversimplification of the plot, but that’s what you need to know at the moment. Pollyanna began playing the glad game when she was very young. Her parents were serving as international missionaries and their non-food supplies were whatever was donated to the church’s missionary committee and then were forwarded in barrels to the various missions. Anyway, as a small child Pollyanna had wanted a doll to be in the missionary barrels and prayed and prayed for one. Unfortunately when the barrels arrived there was no doll among the clothes and fabrics and other dry goods. Instead, there was (rather randomly, I must say) a pair of crutches. Little Pollyanna was devastated. That’s when her dad came up with the game. He said that she could be glad that she didn’t need the crutches. (A bit weak, if you ask me, but no one is so whatever). From there on out she looked for something to be positive about in every situation – including when she fell from a tree and broke her back.
You may argue that always looking for ways to be happy, especially in hard times, is not particularly emotionally healthy and you’d probably be right. However, I think that it would benefit us all if we would try harder to look for good, even in the worst times. It’s not right to ask people to put on a fake front of cheeriness, but on the other hand, we ourselves can probably do a bit better at more positive thinking – more gratitude.
Several years ago I arranged a choral number and I was excited that it was going to be sung for the first time today. Our rehearsals, though, have been plagued by illness and vacations and other conflicts, making it difficult to actually learn the number (let alone start on Christmas songs!). I sent out a groveling email plea to choir and potential choir members, complete with rehearsal recordings of their parts. When I got to choir today, however, we were actually fewer in number than in past rehearsals. I was not happy. But then we began rehearsing and I found ways to make changes. Carefully arranged harmonies became simplistic unisons, with harmony where we could put it. It turned out just fine. It wasn’t exactly as I’d imagined it all these years, but it was good enough and no one listening knew the difference. I was grateful that it turned out the way it did.
In this week of Thanksgiving we focus a lot on what we are thankful for. (Side note: I was working with the children at church today and when the singing leader asked what holiday was Sunday there was a large number of kids who shouted out, “Black Friday!” I wasn’t fully sure whether to laugh or cry.) I’ve decided that many of the hardest things in my life are actually things to be grateful for given that they have strengthened me in one way or another. I think I have become more empathetic to others as I have learned to cope with my own challenges. That’s a really good thing. These challenges have also given me a way to meet people who reach out to help – people I might not have known in other circumstances. That’s also really good!
This year during the month of Thanksgiving I’ve chosen to look at some of the more overlooked blessings in my life. I’m seeking to affirmatively feel gratitude for things that don’t get appreciated the way they should. I’m seeking to look beyond life’s annoyances and struggles to find the joy that God intends me to have. It’s been an eye-opening and humbling experience, one that has helped me see blessings in a way I never have before.
Most of my life my hair was the bane of my existence. No one could do anything with it and it was the source of great amusement to those who weren’t my biggest fans. Yes, I was made fun of for it. My mother frequently despaired of my ever looking acceptably human with the mop of thick, heavy, straight hair that plagued my life atop my head. Every now and then I stumbled on a hairstyle that worked for a season, but it never stayed. I was about 40 years old when I was introduced to Ruben, a wonderful hairdresser who understood my hair and actually could do something with it! He talked about its personality and how he just had to work with where it wanted to go. My hair ceased to be one of my greatest embarrassments. Ruben changed my life. I moved and lost Ruben, but now I have Allison – who also knows my hair (took me a while to find her after I moved up here) and knows how to manage it. So as silly as it might sound to some people, I am extremely grateful for my hairdresser! I’m also grateful for the bulk of my life without Ruben and Allison because now I can appreciate them in a way I wouldn’t have before.
Yesterday a dear friend that I hadn’t seen in far too many years stopped by with her completely grown daughter. When we were in high school I was so incredibly jealous of this friend, but experiences as young adults drew us together with a bond that is unbreakable (even if we basically don’t speak to each other for many years). As we visited I saw the deep-seated contentedness in my friend, despite the many hardships she has gone through in recent years; hardships that could have floored many people. I don’t envy her anymore (what a childish thing that was, but you know – high school. *sigh*), but instead I am grateful for her – for her steadfast love, her positivity, her gentleness, her faith, and her example. I say every year that I am grateful for friends, but I say that thinking of current friends – not those who have touched and shaped my life in the past. This year I’m looking at friends, close or casual, from throughout my life who have helped me along the road of life and feeling extremely grateful for all of them.
I am so grateful that my daughter is living across the country. Okay, that sounds bad and I don’t mean it that way, hahaha! I’m grateful for the wonderful people she has met and the great experiences she is having. I’m grateful how her growing independence has enhanced our relationship and made the times we’re together so much richer. I’m grateful for the lessons I’m learning as an empty-nester. I’m grateful that the doors opened and she was led to where she is.
There are many other things and people that I could point out that I am grateful for. Life is so full and so good and it’s easy to see the blessings if I but look for them. It is also so stinkin’ easy to see the worst side of life and feel cursed as Job. Last night five people were killed in an LGBTQ bar in Colorado. It is absolutely horrifying. But we’ve come a long way since the Pulse Nightclub shooting of 2016. This time people stopped the gunman before he could do more harm; more people across the political spectrum are genuinely grieving; less blaming of the victims is occurring. I like to think that in many ways we’re improving as a society. That too, is a blessing to be grateful for. Whenever sympathy for others expands we are definitely doing well.
As we go into Thanksgiving this week I hope all of us will look around and focus on the positives instead of the negatives. I believe that as we seek the blessings around us we will truly see them. Hard times are a reality and acknowledging them is important, but then finding hope amidst the turmoil of life and expressing gratitude for the multitude of blessings we actually have lifts us up and reminds us that God has not forsaken us, that life is good, and there is beauty in life all around us. I find that to be a blessing.
Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone! (And Happy Black Friday to those who celebrate it. *sigh*)
Look to God and Live... Joyfully! 