I don’t know about you, but I absolutely despise it when I do something that I feel is innocuous and someone pounces upon it and turns it into proof of some evil malintent. I mean, I completely hate that! To use the word of the famous Pollyanna, “I abominate it!”
Unfortunately, as much as we ourselves hate being on the pounced upon side, we can also tend to be pouncers and then justify it with a myriad of just causes. I once saw a sign, “If jumping to conclusions were an Olympic sport then I would be a gold medalist.” I like to think I don’t rush into suppositions of someone’s intent, but alas, I’m afraid that I also can be guilty of that offense.
Recently I have been on the “pounced upon” side of the equation more times than I would like. It’s amazing to hear what evil lurks in the hearts of men – I mean, in my heart (didn’t mean to quote the Green Hornet here). I’m going innocently along and next thing I know I have deep personality flaws leading to my being despicably rude, or am a traitor to friends, or am saying I resent somebody for something, and more. How may my actions be misconstrued, let me count the ways.
It’s easy to play the victim in this war of sudden death conclusion pouncing. As a victim I am then entitled to jump to my own conclusions as to the motivations of the person who was initially offended by my actions or words. Right? My mom, like every mother on the entire planet, used to say, “two wrongs don’t make a right.” But, we’re not talking two wrongs! We’re only talking one! The person who jumped to the conclusion was the wrong, and I’m the right for pointing out the reason they clearly got everything wrong. By my count, that is one wrong and one right. *sigh* Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.
The truth is that I have no factual proof of why someone reacted the way they did. Maybe they had a toothache. Maybe what I said/did triggered an old insecurity or trauma. Perhaps they were hit over the head and had no control over their responses. Whoops. That sounded sarcastic. *sigh again* Seriously, though, I can’t possibly know the reasons someone’s reactions unless I talk with them. Even then I might not fully understand because they might not understand. Trying to figure it out by communicating seems like a good first step, however.
I have made a habit of trying to understand context when I see a “news” clip on social media. He said “xyz” often turns out to be wrong when I listen to the full clip and gain context. Sometimes the report was accurate, but often it isn’t. I have the Ring app on my phone and get neighborhood alerts. It’s become rather humorous to me how many people report hearing gunshots in the middle of a thunderstorm. You can imagine how quickly people are to point out the obvious: we’re scheduled to have gunshots for the next three hours – with lots of flashing lights, hahaha! It’s easy to laugh at such things (and yes, I know that some people post their reports sarcastically, but you get where you can tell the reports actually posted by people frightened by perceived violence outside), but the truth is that we all do that on a more interpersonal level far too frequently.
There is an absolutely delicious moment in Beethoven’s 5th Piano Concerto (the Emperor Concerto). It comes at the end of the second movement – about 45 seconds before the end. The second movement is the slow and calm movement. At the end there are some simple notes, played slowly. They start, and then they stop. It seems as though it is leading into another part of this adagio theme. Instead, the slow halting theme is actually a prelude to one of the most fast-paced and joyous movements in all music. I dare you to sit still during that third movement and not dance. Seriously, I dare you! That bridge between movements is masterfully brilliant (I know, what would I expect from dear Ludwig). But if one was tired of the adagio and skipped ahead, they would miss the glory of the bridge!
I think that when we jump to conclusions before knowing what’s ahead, or behind, or anything else, that we are risking losing the beauty of the reality. I don’t know if that makes sense – it does in my brain, and it definitely did when I heard the concerto last night and had this lightbulb moment. Anyway, jumping to conclusions with others can make it so we miss out on friendships and understandings that we otherwise could have and enjoy.
The long and short of it is this: if you see someone swinging from a tree it might be someone up to no good, or it might be Robin Hood seeking to right the wrongs in society. Okay, that really was a lame analogy. Sorry. How about this: that person speeding down the road might be someone hot dogging for the attention, or it might be someone headed to the hospital with an emergency. There is no way for us to know, so making snap judgments seems kinda silly. If someone says or does something that seems out of character for them or off, it’s far better to look deeper than the shallowest of thin surfaces to make assumptions. It’s better to ask. Unless a car is barreling towards you on the highway, don’t panic. Take a slow walk to understanding instead of jumping to that conclusion: there might be a cliff up ahead that you’d rather not fall off of!
Look to God and Live... Joyfully! 