Christmas is, of course, a time for gifts. The ultimate gift initially from God to us and now from us to others. Obligatory gifts aren’t fun, but the gifts from the heart are wonderful representations of that first Christmas.
Sometimes the hardest role at this time of year is that of gracious receiver. Getting what we want from a wish list of material items isn’t near as important as getting something from someone who loves us and wants to show that love.
When I worked in retail many years ago I always hurt on December 26th. The lines for returns usually wrapped around the outside of the store before we even opened. Back then we were required to ask the reason for return, and the most frequent answers included: “I didn’t like it,” “It was ugly,” “I didn’t want it,” and so on. There were some, “it didn’t fit” answers, but they were few and far between.
Those experiences every year made me think about what would happen if we just accepted the gifts for the gifts that they were intended to be?
Many years ago my grandma crocheted me a beautiful blue sweater. It was a very open stitch and growing up in an extremely modest home I couldn’t figure out how to wear it and stay modest. It was a pretty sweater, but we were tight on money and I would have preferred something I could have worn. I told Grandma how beautiful it was, though, and moved on. The next year I got the same sweater in purple. Again I said thank you. I tried to find a way to wear it (layering wasn’t a thing then) and succeeded once or twice. The next year the sweater came in white. Another year it came in pink. I loved the colors, if not the rather unstylish and immodest styles, but over time I did find a way to wear them and not feel too uncomfortable and self-conscious.
I recently found two of those sweaters in a trunk of memorabilia. I felt such a sweet warmth as I looked at them. The reality is, those sweaters were gifts of love. My grandma took the time to make them. Her health wasn’t great, but still she made those sweaters – choosing colors she knew I would like. I am so grateful for those sweaters!
We’ve all experienced that, right? The gifts we just don’t know what to do with? The gifts we open and go, “oooookaaaay…”
It is so easy to put material wishes above relationships in those situations, but when we do we erode a portion of the closeness we otherwise could have had. I’ve known what it’s like to give a carefully chosen and had it immediately discarded or openly disliked. It hurts! It isn’t a fun rejection and leads to a closing off of a part of myself. What a tragedy to ever put things above people and relationships! don’t believe that all gifts need to be permanently displayed or used. Courtesy and kindness in reception, however, is a huge deal.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m in favor of the giver trying to find something to give that is personally chosen to meet the receiver’s interests, but it isn’t my responsibility in receiving to judge the motivation or gift-giving skills of the giver.
Here’s an example. I hate guns. I despise them. I also hate war, even when it’s necessary. As a history buff I love to study the causes and effects of war, but details of battles stress me. Mind you, I’ve been to an awful lot of battlefields here in the U.S. and abroad, but if I think about the battles themselves and what literally physically occurred I get sick. I tell you that so you’ll understand my joy when I opened a package one year and found TWO historical bullets – one Revolutionary and one Civil War. Umm… Anyway, I thanked the giver and put the bullets in my library near history books. The following year I opened a present from the same person and found… you guessed it! two bullets. Same battles. I might have laughed just a bit. You know what, though? The person giving the bullets knew that I loved history. They knew that I had visited battlefields. They knew that I was obsessed with the long-term effects of battles (it would be best not to ask me my thoughts about the Battle of Hastings, for example, unless you have several hours to devote to my musings). The gift was beautifully intentioned to find something I had an interest in and honor it with a gift. I love that! The second set of bullets went into my library to sit on the shelf with history books, just like the first.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently due to my listening to my very favorite version of The Twelve Days of Christmas as performed by the King’s Singers. In this version a woman named Emily is the recipient of the gifts. Her responses to her beau, Edward, are hilarious. I discover, however, that I feel sorry for Edward! I have wasted far too much time thinking of ways Emily could have responded that would have been better. I mean, she didn’t know if the gifts continued because they had already been ordered and couldn’t be stopped, or if Edward just had a tin ear and didn’t realize how annoying the gifts were, or if he honestly thought he was doing something nice, or anything else like that. I get that it became problematic, but I keep thinking of solutions that could have been employed short of destroying a relationship. I have the entire thing worked out.
Anyway, I think it can now be said that I can take literally anything and turn it into a serious lecture, hahaha.
As we get closer to Christmas I hope that we will remember the reason for gifts. Love should be at the core of all we do – whether giving or receiving – and we should find ways to be grateful for the love that is shown by others.
God Himself gave us His Son that we might have everlasting life. Christ gave Himself as an offering that we might live with Him forever. That is the real gift of Christmas. Treating gifts to and from others as symbolic of that greatest gift – even if it seems like something we wouldn’t ever wish for – is showing the true spirit of Christmas.
Now, enjoy this fun King’s Singers video!
Look to God and Live... Joyfully! 